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Fertility Clinics Begin to Address Mental Health
Mental Health and Infertility
Besides all of the high-tech improvements the field of reproductive medicine has made throughout the decades, there is another part of infertility that has not made as many strides, and yet is equally important: emotional health. However, more and more centers are hiring and utilizing psychologists, acupuncturists, and other complimentary practitioners who specialize in infertility, with some even starting support groups or holding programs and stress-reduction workshops.
As something that has been more hidden in the past, for a number of reasons, now infertility and sub-fertility are being talked about more, and people are realizing this is a common health issue. There’s more awareness and there is an increase in people who are actually going in to get help now, whether it’s with their GP, OBGYN or an RE (fertility doctor).
Women especially feel the brunt of the stress with this challenge, and often experience anxiety, depression, insomnia and strains in their personal relationships, whether with a partner, or with friends and family, especially when it seems like “everyone around [them] is getting pregnant”.
Studies from universities such as Harvard Medical School are finding that patients struggling with infertility have levels of distress “equal to patients with cancer or heart disease.” Moreover, this effects people’s lives overall, sometimes financially, and also when it comes to planning things, like trips or career-moves. The numerous appointments and medications (which can cause mood swings, especially in women with a history of depression or a major depressive event), all of this can make patients feeling frustrated and can lead patients to be consumed with the status of their eggs.
Fertility can not only be disruptive and stressful, but it can feel like a crisis, and many couples who have repeated failed procedures go through a mourning process each month, experiencing chronic grief, and feeling like they are missing out on an essential life experience. And with success rates nationally being about 20-30%, evidence based medicine should not be the only tool in the tool basket. When women are doing something to greatly increase their ability to conceive and it fails, there needs to be support and help to not only manage this devastating experience, but to treat the whole person so that they can become as healthy as possible, and actually increase their chances of it working in the future, either naturally or with assisted technologies.
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Having undergone years of IVF both in Australia and the US I can certainly attest to the toll it takes on mental health. When I first started, I found the hardest part was the waiting – waiting for appointments, for the next opportunity to try again, for donors to be available and for results. Everything seemed to take so long and the years were ticking away and I was getting older. Finally, at my first attempt with a wonderful clinic in the US, I became pregnant using donor eggs and sperm. My pregnancy was generally good till the last few weeks when I simply did not feel well and asked to have the baby earlier than 38 weeks. Unfortunately, my doctor’s advice was to wait, and at 37.5 weeks my baby died in utero. The autopsy showed a healthy baby boy of good weight and no reason could be found for his death. It was heartbreaking. My mental health deteriorated as I constantly relived the events leading up to his death. I reprimanded myself for not following up strongly enough on my physical distress, for not seeking a second opinion and for not pushing to have my baby delivered at 36 or 37 weeks. Since that time, my mental health has waxed and waned. I had several more IVF attempts but they were unsuccessful. My age now precludes further attempts. On advice from my GP I now take antidepressants on an ongoing basis and feel better for it. I also meditate, have regular acupuncture and try to stay fit and healthy. I still think of my beautiful little boy and what might have been, but I accept that I can’t go back and I have learnt to live with the sadness and regrets. I am very grateful for the care I received both at the US clinic and from my GP and others. I would advise anyone undergoing IVF to not be afraid to acknowledge feelings of frustration, impatience, sadness, grief and loss and to seek help sooner rather than later. It can be a long and lonely journey, but there is light at the end of the tunnel if you get help and allow yourself to heal.